The Truffles are in

I went to Wegmans Supermarket the other day to pick up a few cases of seltzer. For some reason, their price for seltzer is the most reasonable in the area.
As I wandered through the produce section, I saw that the exotic mushroom case was full with Burgundy Truffles, ranging in size from large marbles to small golf balls, each embedded in a layer of rice and all kept safe under lock and key. The price was listed at $ 599.00 per pound. Needless to say, I passed. Actually, no one buys a pound of truffles, you buy one for 25 dollars or so and use it for some fancy meal or sauce. I was planning to make meatloaf that night so I had no need for a truffle.   Then a surprising thing occurred as I prepared to post this. I googled burgundy truffle and images to get the picture that you see here. I saw the expected mushrooms, and some pictures of candy truffles (they are made to look like the fungus) but then I saw a photo of a young man wearing purple underwear. Clicking on the picture said that they were called burgundy truffles. Now I've heard underwear referred to by a lot of different names, none of which you will see here, but truffles was not one of those names.  Delving deeper into this burgundy truffle mystery, I read that the undergarment in question was made of a material that contained 5% seaweed, and how this material facilitates the exchange of vitamins and minerals between your body and the garment. Acting both as an anti inflammatory and a source of vitamin E.
Underwear that acts like a vitamin pill?  The world must be coming to an end.